I just don’t even know AGAIN.

Mum keeps nagging me about using my blog.
Fair enough if its school or quilting stuff, but I don’t want my personal stuff on here anymore.
Whats the point of writing about things that upset me, or that I’ve already talked to my mother about (except for the fact shes tried of listening to me)?
Or maybe I want to put that on a different blog and make sure theres just one for school/quilting.
I really don’t know what to do or how to go about it.
Every diary I’ve had I’ve ripped into a million shreds because it’s a pointless black hole of alternating boring and depressing bullshit, why is this different?

I just went through my emails and my accounts on various things, made a new msn, so that when I am ready I can dive in.
I got sad looking through my YouTube account because I used to make music videos using movie clips, and upload them – my total video views are 1 million, I have over 100 subscribers, and while thats not much compared to actual popular people onYT, it made me feel a little proud.
I won’t use it, but I can’t delete it, and it’s existance makes starting again pointless.
I should atleast save some of my videos from the wrath of copyright infringement laws >>; but I’m a bit lazy, once again.

*sigh*

TO DO IN THE UNDETERMINED FUTURE :
post about heart blocks lap quilt
post about spa kit
post about depression
post about hour a day plan
post about sketching and other artwork

and something that causes me a little bit of worry : if I post pictures of my artwork, will some bugger with no taste knick them???

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I just don’t even know…

I have no idea whats going on with this blog anymore.

I’ve been rather depressed lately and I just don’t feel like writing.
I’m fighting my way out of this shittiness, but I don’t know when it will be that I actually pick up writing regularly.
I just figured I should drop a few lines (of cocaine… no) while I was on here looking for a link.

Pretty sure I’ve failed Post A Week 2011 epically.

I wish I did feel like finishing the posts I sort’ve left half-done, but I don’t.
…. could play some more Sims >>; lol

But I’m trying to get outside and exercise, I’ve printed out some schoolwork, I’m going to cut out junk and things I’m allergic too – the problem is things that are healthy that I like to eat like fruits I can’t always have because of allergies so it’s better to eat plain crisps…. heehee. Not that I like crisps that much. I’m a chocolate person… I still have Easter chocolate to go through, slowly, of course.

Anyway hopefully all of that will help me feel better, be more healthy, etc

Cars, TAFE, and Linear Naevus Syndrome

Oh, look, I found it!
Yes, I’m late again, but I’ll make sure to do another post on Sunday and restore balance.
This may be disjointed as it covers many topics, and is interrupted by an incredibly loving cat on my lap, and the need for food as I have been abandoned by my mummy so she can go gamble (mum went to bingo, I stayed home D= ).

So, for my birthday this year I’ll be getting driving lessons! (and bras, the two things every 16 year old girl needs)
It’s not something I’ve really looked forward to, but lately I’ve been thinking how nice it would be to get around on my own, drive to tafe, drive to work, go shopping, etc.
And both Mum and Dad have been talking about getting new cars, so I’ve been helping look.
And theeen I started looking for myself >>;
I mean, I won’t be able to drive my own car by myself for around two years, and I don’t have a job or any money yet, but I’m thinking how cute it’d be to have a little Beetle.
So my current mental plan is get job > save all my money > buy sisters old car > if money not used in travel buy Beetle/nicer car.
EDIT :: oh, now I realise why my sisters trying to fob her old car off on me, its crap >>;

I’ve also been thinking about TAFE – my education board lady told me that kids my age get government money for doing a TAFE course as alternative to school.
Theres a new TAFE building in my town, but the only courses really available (that I would be remotely interested/competent in) are business and aged care.
Old people scare me, and they’re depressing – I just have this memory of visiting my Poppa in his care home and he was deaf and bruised and smelly and all of the other old people were so clingy because no one visited them.
And business…. neh, my friends doing one but she’ll be finished by the time I start if I do business.

If I go further into the city to go to TAFE, I could do more – child care, beauty therapy, cooking.
But only if it’s at/around the same time as my sisters, because she’d have to drive me.
I can’t do any kind of cooking course yet because if its like a proper commercial cooking one, its full-on, you’re working all the time, I’d need to drive myself around and be able to handle so much working.
My sisters doing beauty therapy and I can’t do the same thing as her.
Back to child/aged care and business.
I think I might do child care this year in the city, then business/aged care next year at home.
I can always look at ONLINE courses too, I haven’t done that yet.

Err, in any case, better start looking for a job….
I’m not ready yet!! I’VE MISSED TOO MANY YEARS OF MY LIFE WITH THIS MOVING AROUND CRAP AND I CAN’T FOCUS ON HOMESCHOOL IF I NEED TO GET A JOB SO I CAN LEARN TO DRIVE AND GO TO TAFE!!! T-T fml
It just pisses me off so much because it has nothing to do with me, yet it practically cripples my life.
I could’ve just powered on and done everything by myself, but I don’t want to, and I shouldn’t HAVE to!

*emo-ness over*
I think I’ll have to write the rest of this tomorrow.
Glee is on followed by House, I still need to eat, then I need to shower, and Turbo is chasing me back and forth between my room and the lounge, purring and jumping on my lap.
She’s probably in heat >>;
Okay, changing my original line up of topics.
So, yesterday Mum had an old friend visit her, and Mum was telling her stories about all her husbands/boyfriends/girlfriend, and her kids – I was in my room listening thinking she should just write a book about it lol.
Anyway, later on I was thinking how lucky I was to be the youngest – I had the best biological Dad, who was neither sickly nor crazy nor dead.
So I was like “yippee! I’m the perfectly healthy one! with all my normal organs and everything!”

Um, no, because then Mum reminded me I had her genes too, and apart from stupid allergies, I have something like ‘linear naevus (sebaceous) syndrome / epidermal nevus syndrome’.
Oh, so THATS why I went to the doctor when I was little – I don’t have many memories of it, mostly my bandaid from my blood test making me itchy, and my brother blowing into a tube (that was a whole other issue).
I don’t know if I was told anything, or if I was old enough to understand if I was – everynow and then Mum says something about ‘linear naevus’ but I just thought she was making it up.

Anyway, linear naevus syndrome – I have blotches of lumpy dry skin (I think they call it ‘plaque’) that runs in a line down in the inside of my left arm, I also have some blotches of dis-pigmentation (white skin), also on my arms… possibly on my tummy but that could be a chicken pox.
I just thought they were dry skin and birth marks – but my brother has these too, but worse.
We’re lucky we don’t have more of it all over, or on our eyes, or on our faces, or in a bald patch on our heads!
My Mum gave me a e-mail from the doctor we saw when we were little, and it says Mum and my brother and I all have a mild form of this linear naevus syndrome, and that we have a 50% chance of passing it on to our children.
But if we pass it on to our children it could be mild like ours, or worse, because other things related to this syndrome are autism and other mental retardation, seizures, and I think possible physical deformities (my brother has a concave/funnel chest, but said to not be related).

Anyway, its rare, and people don’t know much about it – trying to Google it I found threads of scared mothers with kids who had (non-linear) naevus sebaceous, which is generally just like a patch of bald pinkish skin on their heads, and the doctors were telling them to get it removed in case it became cancerous, and some people who had grown up with it never knowing what it was until they were like 30.

I might put a photo of my arm later if it helps anyone.

I’m having trouble writing, probably because I have so much to write that I feel like I’m writing TOO much so I just shouldn’t at all – I do the same thing with comments on thing, I’ll write a comment then just backspace it and give up altogether.
Also, I’m kinda more interested in playing The Sims 2 and watching Bones, and also trying to train myself to never ever pick my face ever again…
So, next post, which I may do tomorrow, because this was really all supposed to be one big post but I just can’t do it because it’s taking too long and I keep picking up new topics and….
Anyway, next post, my ‘science project’, and maybe about my computer and a funny picture from my game.