I just don’t even know…

I have no idea whats going on with this blog anymore.

I’ve been rather depressed lately and I just don’t feel like writing.
I’m fighting my way out of this shittiness, but I don’t know when it will be that I actually pick up writing regularly.
I just figured I should drop a few lines (of cocaine… no) while I was on here looking for a link.

Pretty sure I’ve failed Post A Week 2011 epically.

I wish I did feel like finishing the posts I sort’ve left half-done, but I don’t.
…. could play some more Sims >>; lol

But I’m trying to get outside and exercise, I’ve printed out some schoolwork, I’m going to cut out junk and things I’m allergic too – the problem is things that are healthy that I like to eat like fruits I can’t always have because of allergies so it’s better to eat plain crisps…. heehee. Not that I like crisps that much. I’m a chocolate person… I still have Easter chocolate to go through, slowly, of course.

Anyway hopefully all of that will help me feel better, be more healthy, etc

I have an excuse! or I did last week…

So, I was sick, and then I was lazy.
This is what I typed up more than a week ago explaining why I missed a couple posts.
I wasn’t actually going to post most of it but it seems pretty funny now, like ridiculous amounts of oversharing.

“Yes, yes, I missed two posts, but thats because I got gastro 😦
I’ve been very sick, I spent several days lying on the lounge watching Bones – which may not have been the best decision as I thought about skulls constantly as I went to the bathroom and when I tried to sleep O.o
I’m feeling better now, but I have a very small appetite and have trouble eating, which was a problem even before I got sick, and I have sore legs from sitting on the loo so much >.<
I think the worst part about when I get sick is that almost every time, whether its a cold or flu or whatever, I have a strange mental… episode or something, where I get a horrible feeling in the back of my throat and hear/think weird things and sometimes throw up.
This time when that happened Mum woke up when I chucked and apparently afterwards I was saying something about my bones being too small for my skin and then I just stood there with my eyes closed.
And when the first or second day of feeling better I felt really restless and agitated though, which wasn’t fun.
What kinda bugs me is I kept telling Mum things and she didn’t really listen.
I said I was sick and had diarrhea and stuff and when Dad came to visit she said to him “Meg -reckons- shes sick”.
And then I told her I had blood in my stool and she said “your probably just grazed”.
And then I told her I had thrush which is er obviously in a specific place and she thought I had a rash on my pelvis.
Just no.”

I have my appetite back and I’m all good, except for a while I kept getting blocked ears, and like have blocked ears the entire day, and I couldn’t stand it.
It didn’t help the sick/mental feelings and stuff because everything sounded wrong or all I could hear was my own breathing.
Mum got me ear drops for wax softening cus it was like water was trapped behind the wax after I showered – but we never used them because it said stuff on the bottle like DO NOT GET IN EYES, HAIR OR SKIN, AND IMMEDIATELY REMOVE AND WASH ANY CONTAMINATED CLOTHING.
They want me to put that in my ear? screw that.
And I still have trouble with textures and stuff, like I can’t stand Toblerones because of the tiny bits of nougat stuck in my teeth after the chocolates gone, reminds me of the hard plasticy feeling in my throat.

I’d like to make like 3 blog posts right now except Mum’s watching Dexter…. we’re on season 3.
I don’t really want to watch it now but I feel like I have no choice, it’s either that or miss out on a show I like and never spend any time with my Mum, we’re just jumping between shows and then she starts rewatching older things.
I might move my laptop into the lounge, but I can’t type and watch so I’d probably fire up The Sims 2 and have it sit there and do nothing because I’ll get distracted.
Vaguely related to The Sims 2, I may have already mentioned this but my computer has so little space its advising me not to play it – I guess for good reason as the game has been crashing lately.
And WordPress has been very, very laggy lately – I don’t know if its my struggling laptop, my browser, or the website.
Either way I need to get a external harddrive or atleast a flashstick to cart my lesser used crap onto.

Pretty far behind on my posts, but it doesn’t really matter, does it?
I’ll work something out, when I get a proper scheduley thing up for schoolwork – Mum’s been nagging me about that lately, but I guess I only have like 6 months before the education lady comes… wah.
I have trouble talking to Mum about what I want, I want her to just know magically!

Cars, TAFE, and Linear Naevus Syndrome

Oh, look, I found it!
Yes, I’m late again, but I’ll make sure to do another post on Sunday and restore balance.
This may be disjointed as it covers many topics, and is interrupted by an incredibly loving cat on my lap, and the need for food as I have been abandoned by my mummy so she can go gamble (mum went to bingo, I stayed home D= ).

So, for my birthday this year I’ll be getting driving lessons! (and bras, the two things every 16 year old girl needs)
It’s not something I’ve really looked forward to, but lately I’ve been thinking how nice it would be to get around on my own, drive to tafe, drive to work, go shopping, etc.
And both Mum and Dad have been talking about getting new cars, so I’ve been helping look.
And theeen I started looking for myself >>;
I mean, I won’t be able to drive my own car by myself for around two years, and I don’t have a job or any money yet, but I’m thinking how cute it’d be to have a little Beetle.
So my current mental plan is get job > save all my money > buy sisters old car > if money not used in travel buy Beetle/nicer car.
EDIT :: oh, now I realise why my sisters trying to fob her old car off on me, its crap >>;

I’ve also been thinking about TAFE – my education board lady told me that kids my age get government money for doing a TAFE course as alternative to school.
Theres a new TAFE building in my town, but the only courses really available (that I would be remotely interested/competent in) are business and aged care.
Old people scare me, and they’re depressing – I just have this memory of visiting my Poppa in his care home and he was deaf and bruised and smelly and all of the other old people were so clingy because no one visited them.
And business…. neh, my friends doing one but she’ll be finished by the time I start if I do business.

If I go further into the city to go to TAFE, I could do more – child care, beauty therapy, cooking.
But only if it’s at/around the same time as my sisters, because she’d have to drive me.
I can’t do any kind of cooking course yet because if its like a proper commercial cooking one, its full-on, you’re working all the time, I’d need to drive myself around and be able to handle so much working.
My sisters doing beauty therapy and I can’t do the same thing as her.
Back to child/aged care and business.
I think I might do child care this year in the city, then business/aged care next year at home.
I can always look at ONLINE courses too, I haven’t done that yet.

Err, in any case, better start looking for a job….
It just pisses me off so much because it has nothing to do with me, yet it practically cripples my life.
I could’ve just powered on and done everything by myself, but I don’t want to, and I shouldn’t HAVE to!

*emo-ness over*
I think I’ll have to write the rest of this tomorrow.
Glee is on followed by House, I still need to eat, then I need to shower, and Turbo is chasing me back and forth between my room and the lounge, purring and jumping on my lap.
She’s probably in heat >>;
Okay, changing my original line up of topics.
So, yesterday Mum had an old friend visit her, and Mum was telling her stories about all her husbands/boyfriends/girlfriend, and her kids – I was in my room listening thinking she should just write a book about it lol.
Anyway, later on I was thinking how lucky I was to be the youngest – I had the best biological Dad, who was neither sickly nor crazy nor dead.
So I was like “yippee! I’m the perfectly healthy one! with all my normal organs and everything!”

Um, no, because then Mum reminded me I had her genes too, and apart from stupid allergies, I have something like ‘linear naevus (sebaceous) syndrome / epidermal nevus syndrome’.
Oh, so THATS why I went to the doctor when I was little – I don’t have many memories of it, mostly my bandaid from my blood test making me itchy, and my brother blowing into a tube (that was a whole other issue).
I don’t know if I was told anything, or if I was old enough to understand if I was – everynow and then Mum says something about ‘linear naevus’ but I just thought she was making it up.

Anyway, linear naevus syndrome – I have blotches of lumpy dry skin (I think they call it ‘plaque’) that runs in a line down in the inside of my left arm, I also have some blotches of dis-pigmentation (white skin), also on my arms… possibly on my tummy but that could be a chicken pox.
I just thought they were dry skin and birth marks – but my brother has these too, but worse.
We’re lucky we don’t have more of it all over, or on our eyes, or on our faces, or in a bald patch on our heads!
My Mum gave me a e-mail from the doctor we saw when we were little, and it says Mum and my brother and I all have a mild form of this linear naevus syndrome, and that we have a 50% chance of passing it on to our children.
But if we pass it on to our children it could be mild like ours, or worse, because other things related to this syndrome are autism and other mental retardation, seizures, and I think possible physical deformities (my brother has a concave/funnel chest, but said to not be related).

Anyway, its rare, and people don’t know much about it – trying to Google it I found threads of scared mothers with kids who had (non-linear) naevus sebaceous, which is generally just like a patch of bald pinkish skin on their heads, and the doctors were telling them to get it removed in case it became cancerous, and some people who had grown up with it never knowing what it was until they were like 30.

I might put a photo of my arm later if it helps anyone.

I’m having trouble writing, probably because I have so much to write that I feel like I’m writing TOO much so I just shouldn’t at all – I do the same thing with comments on thing, I’ll write a comment then just backspace it and give up altogether.
Also, I’m kinda more interested in playing The Sims 2 and watching Bones, and also trying to train myself to never ever pick my face ever again…
So, next post, which I may do tomorrow, because this was really all supposed to be one big post but I just can’t do it because it’s taking too long and I keep picking up new topics and….
Anyway, next post, my ‘science project’, and maybe about my computer and a funny picture from my game.


Okay, I’m late again

I was supposed to post yesterday, I know.
I wouldn’t be posting today if I weren’t too tired to go to bingo (yes, I spend my Monday nights playing bingo at the golf club with the old women, my secret is out)
Everything has been so busy!
Sundays were supposed to be my lazy day, and now they’re just not.
Dad got the keys to his place, and we’ve been busy helping him move in, and going shopping with him.
He’s gradually getting more excited, which is great, because he was being really blah about it before.

We’ve been to lots of places – Super A-Mart, Fantastic Furniture (is there a K in there somewhere?), Ikea.
The only place he got REAL furniture from was when we went to Harvey Norman today.
Ordered a nice lounge and a bedroom suite, finally!
Pretty sure Harvey Norman is the best store ever, and we’re really lucky it was open, because todays a public holiday and we went into the city and EVERYWHERE WAS CLOSED!
It was ridiculous, no where that sold any electricals or appliances (only the furniture part of HN was open), not even Woolworths.
But in my own town everything was still open – no wonder we get so many visitors down on sundays and holidays.

I was a little bit down for a while because in Harvey Norman I saw some chests – not boring blanket boxes, but cute little lime-washed chests with bits of metal on them and they smelt really nice inside, some sort of nice pine.
There was a big one and a smaller one and together they were 500 dollars.
I had already gotten a 90 dollar steamer trunk-ish yesterday (pics tomorrow maybe).
I had like a sudden windfall of chests!
Mum said I could have them, and I had claimed them and was guarding them in case anyone else came sniffing around.
But then Dad came and had a look, said he didn’t like them, pointed out the spindly legs on the big chest, and then Mum was testing and criticising them, and pointed out some cracks in the wood.
It just pissed me off! I mean, it was better not to get them than pay so much for shoddy things, but WHY did they have to be shoddy? How dare the makers of those chests!
Even with a discount from a nice employee, it was too much for them.
Anyway, I’m sure I can find a nicer chest eventually – or maybe just MAKE one.

After Harvey Norman we had lunch, then went to Dads and did his inspection list for the real estate agent, assembled his coffee and tv tables, put away his glasses and things, made his temporary bed (which will soon after be my extra bed)
It’s starting to look like a little house! Although at the moment (until Thursday) his ‘lounge suite’ is three fold out camping chairs.
ABOUT the actual house, it’s a nice unit in about 7 others (well, 6 units, 1 big holiday rental at the front),  but they have walls and garages separating them nicely, and his is at the back so you actually enter from the street behind.
So his is on the street just behind behind the waterfront with some nice take out places, not too far from the bluff, nice area to walk and ride bikes, and it would only take me 10-15 minutes to walk to my friends house!
It was obviously made in the 70s, with the yellow and green knit curtains, brown tiles, ‘mustard’ countertops, funny things like narrow cupboards with tea-towel racks in them, dial phone, and until recent changes by the owner it has awful carpet throughout (even in the kitchen!).
But I like it, and Mum and I looked through it BEFORE Dad did, and if we didn’t have so much furniture and eventually an extra girl, we might’ve had it.

There was definitely something else I was going to talk about but it’s floating away.
Maybe it was how tired I am – I slept for 12 hours saturday night, after a not so good day of throwing up on the way to the shops and such.
Maybe it was my sisters kitten, which hunts crickets (they’re EVERYWHERE this autumn! never really seen any let alone so many before), flings its poo, claws the lounge, and sleeps in my bed.
There was something I thought of as I started typing all this that definitely could’ve taken up another blog post or two… hmm.

But I reckon its time to go snuggle on the lounge – if theres room, as my sister always makes a big mess when she ‘cleans’ – because I’ve been doing so much typing, replying  to comments and making this (boring?) post.


Fallen behind!

I missed my post for last week, so I’ll do two this week.
The problem is if you miss one you figure you might as well stop all together!
I get that problem a lot – if I skip a lesson, or if I dont play a video game I’m trying to beat one day, then I’m likely to stop all together!

I’ve been stuck into Fable at the moment.
I think I bought it on Friday, but didn’t get to play until the next day.
So on Sunday, my day of blogging, I spent the first half of the day sitting with my aunt and grandma who were visiting, and the second half kicking chickens, getting married, and killing Balverines.

I’m a bit ticked off because it’s crashed three times – first two times it was just the game due to an unknown error, but yesterday it was really hot and my computer overheated and just turned itself off (right when I was bustin mamma out of jail!)
I waited until the day cooled down before I turned it on, but my computer is really warm anyway – thats probably why the cat likes to sleep on it.
It wouldn’t be so bad if the game actually let you save – it’s a pretty good game apart from that! You can only do ‘hero saves’ when your questing, which saves experience and gold, but not your progress or location or anything.
You can only ‘world save’ when your NOT doing anything… why? -.-

Anyway, I’m — I don’t know what I was going to say here because I got distracted doing a guitar riff quiz… dang.
Well, I haven’t done anything productive for weeks, not since Mum went to visit her sister, because everyones been busy moving things around, my sister and I swapped rooms, my Dad is going to move into his own house later this week, with only a dining table, television and maybe a bed, lol.
We went shopping but he didn’t get anything, so I guess it’ll be pretty empty until the weekend… or late night shopping!
Oh, Mum and I are so excited and we have to stop ourselves from making lists for him or looking at things for him.
Lately Mums been saying “This is not my business. My business, this is not.”
I get a bit down because this excitement is the reason I wanted to have a glory box, so I could actually buy these cute little house making things when I see them, but I don’t have any where to put my glory box stuff and I don’t have the money.
I don’t think I’m going to really get much pocket money any more, and I don’t really want to – I’ll start looking for jobs soon, then I can have my own money…

But, anyway, I HAVE done something productive yesterday and today!
I made a sign for my door with some stuff I got from Spotlight… ah, Spotlight, how I love you.
I might take a picture for next weeks post, and maybe by then I’ll have done something else – finished my heart blocks, or made this little Peter Rabbit bookmark from a cross stitch kit I got.


Can you ever just be ‘whelmed’?

A question that has plagued me ever since I watched 10 Things I Hate About You.

I am feeling a little overwhelmed.
Firstly, by the blackcurrant in my wheaties (not real wheaties, something like mini wheats, or wheat minis)
Secondly, by all the distracting windows I have open (Damn You Autocorrect, Similar Minds, Facebook, Sporcle!)
Thirdly (Thricely?), by the realisation I could’ve done a post a day, as I’ve thought of a few different blog topics every day!
And most importantly, by the fact it is already 1pm, I only just had breakfast, I need to shower, and Mum wants me to clean the bathroom and write a book review and/or movie review.

I’m sure there is actually time the day for all of these things, I’m just tired and lazy.
And wondering if the cat has damaged my mouse or computer, because I keep getting clicked out of text boxes and the pages want to navigate away all the time… or am I just accidentally touching my touchy pad mouse thing on my laptop? That’s supposed to be disabled. I’m blaming cat for that too.

Anyway, is this what my blog post is going to be today?
Is this the same as my blog posts are going to be every Sunday, thinking of all the topics I had in mind but too busy talking about my boring personal shit and not wanting to make 5 blog posts in one day?
If I end up doing a book review there will be another blog post today.
But which one do I tag as “postaweek2011”? this one, or my book review, or possibly one about Ke$ha, or inkblot tests, or kitten teething, or quilting, or every post I do on Sundays? Because then that’s not “postaweek2011”, thats “severalpostsinonedayoftheweek2011”, as I discussed in my previous post.

Ho hum.
I’ll probably be too busy watching Xena to make another post anyway >>; I’ve missed a few and if I’ve missed “Is There A Doctor In The House”, I may cry a little.

EDIT:: Not having a good day. They aren’t showing Xena on TV anymore! The bastards! But for some reason Hercules still seems to be going, so hopefully Xena will come back on.
But that’s not really why I’m not having a good day, I just don’t feel good – I normally feel pretty crap on ‘lazy’ days or when I’m ‘bored’, I think that actually means I’m depressed. Because I’m not just bored or lazy, I refuse to do anything whether its something fun or a chore. And then I always have bad showers. Like I just had a shower, but I got stuck rubbing my face for almost 15 minutes! Just over and over. It wasn’t even really because of pimples or rough skin, I just got stuck. And I feel tired, and heavy, and slow.

Post A Day or Post A Week?

It’s almost March, but I only just looked into this.
It might give me some motivation…
But I don’t think I can manage a Post A Day – and I don’t want to feel obligated to churn out a post every day, because they quite possibly will be short, rushed and uninteresting, and meaningless.
If I did the Post A Week challenge, I’d probably end up doing Three-Posts-In-A-Day-A-Week, because it seems if I find the time or energy to make one blog post, I want to make many, lol.

I think I’ll try the Post A Week.
Maybe I’ll pick a blogging day – today is Sunday, which is normally a pyjama day for me, so I guess that works out.
And just mark it in my calendar and/or diary to do a post every Sunday.
Otherwise my Sundays will just be spent like this : wake up, 7th Heaven, Assassins Creed, Xena, Hercules, shower, sleep.

I’m resolute.
If I’m ever blocked I guess I’ll get tips from The Daily Post
Wish me luck 🙂
And comments, likes, etc are appreciated, because otherwise I might abandon this!! lol