quit puffing your feathers out… calm your farm…

I don’t understand why people brag about their negative qualities.
It doesn’t make you sound tough, it doesn’t make you likeable, it makes you seem like a complete tool.

Women posting slogans about how they’re proud to be a bitch, bitch is a good thing, blah blah blah… If I call you a bitch it means you’re a useless person with no compassion for others. Don’t own that. Be a strong woman if you’re a strong woman, not a bitch.

And the misuse of the word mean….  “I’ll be mean if I have to”, “don’t make me be mean”… what a pathetic attitude, if you really are mean it’s your own choice, no one is “making you the bad guy”!
If you are going to be capable, responsible, strict or even stern, okay, but never be mean.
A mean person is not helpful to me, a mean person is not a person I’d like to work with.
Never think of mean as a good thing to be for anyone.

It’s okay, because “he’s a guy”? and other sexism

I thought about this ages ago and forgot to blog about it, so forgive me if I’m a bit all over the place, I’m trying to remember my point! lol

ah, ‘The Line’ is a page on Facebook run by The Australian Government.
They ask questions, do polls, and give and ask for advice on relationships.
It’s goal is to talk about what trusting, healthy, and respectful relationships are, and whether or not people are ‘crossing the line’.

One poll was about bragging – if you hook-up with a hottie, do you brag about it to everyone, or keep it to yourself, and why?
I said I wouldn’t brag, because it’s no one else’s business, and I wouldn’t want to seem like an attention seeking whore.
There is also the issue of being considerate for the person you hooked up with – maybe they don’t want that spread around, and are private people.
And I started to think, maybe, that when guys brag and behave like attention seeking whores, they aren’t called out on it – or they are, but then it is quickly dismissed as them ‘just being a guy’.
I might be wrong, girls just seem to get a bit more persecution for this, and unless it’s a sexist prick saying it, they don’t have the excuse of ‘just being a girl’.

But that being said, I think the ‘just being a guy’ thing is sexist to both genders.
The guys get an excuse for their behaviour where girls don’t, and are in a way encouraged to behave badly or disrespectfully.
It’s also a bit of a nasty generalisation, like “oh, all guys behave like that”, like they are all sleazy or egotistical.
And while I wouldn’t encourage the same behaviour in women, it’s like… men are allowed to objectify women, but women aren’t allowed to objectify men?

Another thing about sexism…
On the news recently they were talking about how the modern Australian guy is more likely to be good at cooking, cleaning and parenting, as opposed to handy-man stuff.
So they were saying it was unfair that men are expected to do everything (domestic stuff, and handy-man stuff, and bring home the bacon)… but what they were forgetting, is that so are women.
Modern women are traditionally expected to take care of all the domestic chores (as men are traditionally expected to take care of fixing things, lifting things, etc), but they are now expected to work jobs as well as raise their children, and I think most women learn how to use a hammer and nail.

And, as a modern girl, I believe in the whole “women can do everything a man can do” thing, but that doesn’t mean we’re the same.
Actually, when I think about it, I think men are better equipped to do ‘everything’ than women, even thought most modern women may think otherwise.
Womens bodies are built differently… we’re not as strong, not as built for labour (apart from, ya know, labour as in child-birth) – so unless we’ve bulked up through exercise, not so good for ‘handy-man’ stuff.
But men have stronger bodies naturally, but that doesn’t mean they can’t take care of children or clean the house.
The only thing men don’t have, are boobies, but you can feed your baby with powder formulas now anyway (though I’m pretty sure boobies are the way to go).

Now, there is a lot of sexism still alive today, and probably always will be, because not all forms of sexism are considered to be wrong.
They might be called the ‘nice kind’ of sexist, and really are considered to be good manners, and good old fashioned values, although to some women its just as condemnable as other forms of sexism.
For example, not hitting a girl, even if she hits you – I guess this is considered similar to hitting a child… it’s someone who is supposed to be weaker than you, and you are supposed to protect them.
Now, if I hit a guy, I would NOT want him to hit me back, lol… they would do like 5 times the damage I did to them.
How about holding the door open for a lady? it’s just a nice gesture… and occasionally I do the same for old people, children, but not just them, I also hold the door open for fit adults of either gender if I feel like it… I would hold the door open for kids the same age as me at school sometimes.

When I was watching The Tudors recently, a woman was tortured for being a ‘heretic’… it seemed to me, that it was worse, for them to be torturing a woman than if they were torturing a man – maybe it seemed worse to me because it was worse for some of the characters, like a nice young man that went to tell the King about it (only to be told it’s okay because she’s a heretic…. that makes everything better!)
But ofcourse, I hate to see the men tortured too, and they get tortured in worse ways (hot poker up the rear, anyone?).

Anyway, then they burned her.
I’m thinking of a quote from Ducky from NCIS – “women will never be equal in our eyes until they’re equal in death”.
It was different when a female agent died, they felt they should’ve protected her, or maybe that she shouldn’t have been in harms way in the first place.

And now my thoughts are all over the place because I started talking about TV shows, lol… well, been typing for like 2 hours… so…. *gives up*

I guess my final point was – is it a bad thing to want to protect people? I think I’d be quite glad to have a boyfriend with the ‘nice kind of sexism’, although I know at times it might bother me.
Oh, and that I will call guys out as attention seeking whores when they are, no excuses! lol.

Oh, oh, and um… I would call myself a feminist.. maybe a ‘mild’ feminist, lol, but I do believe in women’s rights and equality, but there is a point some feminists (not all) reach where it’s just sexism towards men.
And I think maybe thats the kind of feminist that is offended by men wanting to protect her or assist her – maybe thats just denial that women and men ARE different, and women DO have some disadvantages.
I admit children aren’t as developed as adults, and I am a child – I admit women are built different from men, and I am a woman.