Technology stresses me the fuck out, man.
Just the sheer amount of data we amass every day, all the worthless photos I take.
I think if we went back to say film cameras we would choose our photos more carefully because we’d have to be frugal with the cost of the film and therefore value them more.
I just have all this shit, photos upon photos and note pad documents, saved in 5 different locations and tucked away somewhere in real life to the point where I have no idea where anything is and I don’t feel safe.
I feel like I could lose everything in a minute and I have lost things before because even with all the back ups and amazing technology guiding us, every single fucking time I did an iOS upgrade I would get locked out of my phone and have to return to factory settings (which I forgot happened and how to fix it every year) thereby losing all of my notes if not my photos because they’re floating in the cloud, somewhere, except for when they’re not.
I feel terrible about my laptop as if I always fuck it up somehow, I can’t keep it ‘clean’.
I have notebooks and scrapbooks plastic folders and manilla folders and envelopes and boxes and phones and flash drives and laptops and cameras and a something like a 800GB external hard drive where I have also saved video game data that may or may not be usable.
I’ve got folders of monologues and designs and artwork and tattoos and original writing and screenshots and game mods and short cuts and photography and…
I’ve got endless amounts of exHD space, still have space on my laptop, and am scared of saving things on either and don’t know whether or what to double up on.
I don’t know if I prefer my writing physical or digital.
I barely know where all my writing is.
I can barely handle my email inbox!! What’s important and what is not, where to sort bills when I’ve also got real mail bills.
I get up to 20 a day and delete most of them and should probably delete all of them because I had to sort through over a thousand once.
(I can barely move in my own bedroom too…)
I’ve been up so long I’m getting hungry.
And I haven’t been sleeping and I thought going to bed before 11 would be the key to success but it’s not happened all week.
Side note, my bedside table smells like weed.
I am drowning in a nauseatingly unsatisfying life experience right now.


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