My life is so stuck.
I can’t do my photoshoot this week because dad doesn’t want to drive me.
I could take a scary possibly unreliable bus alone for the first time and maybe get stranded in the city when I have to work the next day… Nah.
And when I feel heart pounding anxiety just thinking about doing things, like a miss pinup competition I was interested in, it’s like why bother.
I should just stay home and be a safe little hermit.
Just going to work (if I still have a job next week) and home, never going anywhere outside of grocery shopping and certainly never before or after work, no, that time is for getting ready for / recovering from work. Mmm, work.
So I’ll at least spend this year working, and hopefully getting my Ls so I can get my Ps this time next year… about 2 years later than it should have taken. If I even manage getting motivated to try for my Ls. Again, 2 fucking years. More like 3, really. I dunno, I can’t count.


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