now all I can think is
I don’t want to go to work I’m scared I’m depressed I want to quit
I just like live in fear of anxiety and depression so I want to avoid stressful things which actually makes me stressed and makes things that shouldn’t be hard, like working for a few hours, difficult and upsetting.
I feel all morose and oogy with an underlying anger.
And I didn’t have a bad day last shift but I must have been in a crap mood (yesterday too) because I spent most of my time calling everyone names in my head.
And I don’t know if that’s going to go away.
It doesn’t help that I’ve left checking my hours until the last day I know I’m working… I could be working at 8am tomorrow… And the next day and the next day and the next day.
It’s better once I’ve been working for a little while.
But guess what!?
7:30am start tomorrow! Ahahahahahahahaha fuck no.
I guess I just have to deal with it.
And after weeks of me working here without a name badge they decided I had to wear a random one.
Today I’m Carina.
Mmm this total lack of integrity makes me feel so much better, very encouraging.