I watched a very painful episode (or rather, the entire beginning of season 3) of Buffy The Vampire Slayer where everyones attacking the Buffster for leaving town including her mother, in public, conveniently for her ignoring the fact that SHE TOLD HER TO GO. AND IS TAKING NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR THAT. NO APOLOGY. NO ONE EVER APOLOGISES. UGH.
I ranted about that somewhere else though, but I guess I could have just done that here and lessened the chance that anyone would ever read it.
Anyway, everyone goes on and on about how Buffy leaving was so incredibly selfish and… what? selfish?
How is her leaving any more selfish than them wanting her to stay regardless of how she felt? Regardless of how unwelcome they actually make her feel? What the heck does she owe them?
I don’t get this concept where you owe other people your everything, even if you’re chronically depressed, and if you run away or kill yourself or get killed you are to be blamed and shamed for being selfish….. because? everyone elses feelings matter more than yours?
Why is it their business? Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you have a right to them!
am I heartless?
I just don’t get it.
Maybe because in this instance I relate to Buffy (for once, usually the main character is my least favourite) and of course I am always right and if it were me I would think my feelings matter more than everyone else and I’d tell them all to go suck it.
EDIT:: I did actually think this at some point before/when I started writing this but then kinda forgot…
I guess it is selfish in the sense that it is somewhat inconsiderate of her friends feelings, that they would be worried and miss her and feel hurt, but they don’t seem to be very concerned about her feelings either.
They dismiss her an awful lot and just want her to, and expect her to, just ‘get over’ everything, all of the horrible things that have happened.
They only want to be her friend when she’s happy, they don’t want to deal with her when she’s depressed, they don’t want to know about it, I don’t think they even asked her about how she felt or what she went through.
(I’m also pissed off about the later seasons where they continually think they have a right to kick her out of her own house, when all she ever does is try to help them and save everybody, they offer her little to no help at all. Just wtf. wtf. wtf.)
The other thing I complained about Buffy-wise lately is the episode Go Fish where they seem to completely ignore her complaints about attempted sexual assault and that she was victim blamed and the authorities didn’t want to do anything about it.
They treated her like she was being self-absorbed, and said something along the lines of “can we get a word in”… okay, there was a murder they wanted Buffy to investigate.
But as if the existance of rape culture in the school system is a “me, me, me” situation! Ugh, callous.
I can’t believe Giles or Willow or even Xander wouldn’t have had something to say about that, even if Buffy can handle herself, some other poor girl can’t and a sexual predator has been completely excused here – any pain Buffy dealt to him rendered ineffectual by the humiliation dealt to her by being called fast and easy, and teachers and principals implying her dress is reason enough to deserve it.
I know these characters all turned out to be ‘evil’, but the rape culture was never insinuated to be so, there was no negative reaction from any protagonist other than Buffy which makes her reaction look unjustified.
Why write something like this in as just a throw away incident!
I suppose most people don’t look to the tv to tell them right from wrong, and the viewers know it’s wrong, and the writers probably know it’s wrong, and that it’s taken for granted as wrong… but if it isn’t you’re just furthering the belief that victim blaming is ok.