I went to info night for a local production.
It was torture because I was dribbling snot all over the backs of my hands, had a headache, surrounded by people…
It’s hard to know what to put on the registration form because I have auditions for something else coming up, and if I get in that I obviously can’t be in this.
I hope I hear back from the first auditions before these come up.
Anyway, felt really bad.
Come home, take Panadol, etc…
And I’m awake at midnight still feeling like crap.
I could have gone to bed hours ago, I wish I had.
But I was obsessively searching through all my friends ‘like’s for local photographers.
Hard enough finding photographers in my city, let alone ones that are still active and freely collaborate with models.
I don’t even know why I like modelling.
I really wanted to do it, for a while as a career, but now I’m feeling a bit whatever.
Acting… Yeah good luck getting a career as an actor.
I still have zero aspiration for anything else though.
I was jealous of a girl working in a fish and chip shop the other day.
Because she seemed so happy.
I want to work… Not at a fish and chip shop, but if I thought I’d enjoy it I would, but I don’t think I’d enjoy any career because I’m a neurotic mess that just wants to be left alone.

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