I’m looking at the Do It In A Dress campaign today, wondering if I’ll join.
Well, I only reached my goal for the 40 Hour Famine because both of my parents and an aunt donated several weeks after I actually did the giving up, and the goal was only $80 – not $300, not $600 like a friend of a friend is aiming for!
The cause One Girl’s Do It In A Dress is supporting is to educate girls in Sierra Leone, West Africa… where they are more likely to be sexually assaulted than to go to high school, and attending school increases their income and their chances of marrying later (not at 15 like 28% of Sierra Leone girls) and having smaller and healthier families.
It sounds like it overall enriches their lives.
I’m lucky enough to live in a country where I have so far lived a safe and good life without going to school.
But it makes me feel a bit guilty and even jealous that I threw the opportunity away.
Especially reading about this friend of a friend who is finishing year 12, working, playing netball, taking singing lessons, and apparently constantly volunteering for charities and doing amazing things.
That’s not to say I want to be her because she’s also a victim of violence and suffered PTSD, but I’m sure I could have had a cool life like that without that part…
I’d like to say my life is not any worse for not going to school, but I’ve never gotten to be a part of a community, so I’ve never gotten to do volunteer work, or have friends, or be involved in anything… except my theatre group, which I wanted to be involved in long before I ever got the chance to.
In fact, I did try going to school and I hated it and I’m sure it did more damage than it did good (although I am still Facebook friends with a lot of the kids I met) … I went to school when I was 12 and met new people that HATED me because I didn’t go to kindergarten with them like everyone else, and I didn’t know how to deal with disagreeing with strangers, I didn’t want to dislike people but I did, and I still do.
I’m 18 next month and I’ve never been kissed or had a boyfriend, I rarely leave the house and could count the times I’ve ‘hung out’ with people on one hand.
I guess I don’t really need to go on again about how I’m scared and lonely and thinking about getting a job or learning to drive or studying something is just this massive headache that makes me cry and want to kill myself.
I can’t get a job because I can’t drive and even if I learn to drive it’ll be at least another year before I get my license so what’s the point blah blah blah…. dumb attitude, I know. It’s just like if you don’t get to do something at the right time, you just don’t want to. I should have learnt how to drive when I was 16 but I wasn’t encouraged until a year later when I moved in with my Dad and now it’s another year later and I’m just like fuck it.
I don’t know what the point is anymore… basically I’m advocating for other people to get an education even though I never got one and didn’t like trying to, but now my life is worthless and empty. So donate and little African children will get the chance to go to school and hate it like I did. Or really enjoy it. I hear they do. Good for them.

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