Time Spent Doing Nothing

I guess I’m still in the same state of mind I was in last night.
I have one week until classes start, so this is one week to study at home and make myself look prepared and cunning.
I have passed a month of productivity off as a years worth before.

I’m not sure if I’ll get anything done, unless maybe I dump everything on my bed and shut myself away in here.
I basically live in the lounge room and feel strange if I leave my Dad, not that I interact with him much any way.
It’s all just social awkwardness and a lack of privacy and independence – I don’t like talking on the phone with other people in the house so I basically don’t ring my mother any more.

I suppose a person can never truly do nothing, but that’s what I do.
I can rarely even say I watched a movie, finished a game or drew a picture, because I avoid doing things at all… Like I’d be doing fun things instead of seriously productive things, but I’m not doing those things either.

I just can’t believe my life, or lack of it, but I literally wouldn’t have it any other way. Because I can’t be bothered to.
Well, I enrolled in a class.
3 days a week at class shouldn’t make me feel as stressed as I do.
I want to hide from everything, I don’t want to live like normal.

Even this is time spent doing nothing.


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