and another thing!

I am just so constantly disgusted by people that are meant to be mature.
We’re taught as children to be respectful to adults, like they’re better than us always.
Well they’re not and respect is EARNED.
I’m always always seeing people older and ‘better’ than me behaving completely juvenile, not knowing how to treat and talk to others, not respecting others.
And the way they try to justify their behaviour.
“you push me and push me and when I explode and fight back I’M THE BAD GUY”
what, that’s meant to be sarcasm?
You can’t control yourself, you don’t know how to express yourself, in an appropriate way at an appropriate time, and you are aware before hand how your words will probably be taken… YES you are being mean. And you can choose otherwise.
‘explode and fight back’ yes because suddenly and violently taking your feelings out on others when they may have had no idea you were upset makes you a fucking saint.
Speaking of being a saint, I’m sick of feeling like one because the people around me seem so much worse.
I am not gods gift to man kind, I know it’s wrong to feel like I am and I don’t want to, and I’m constantly trying to choose to feel differently and not express those feelings so I at least have the outward appearance of, again, being superior (a hypocritical act in itself) so can you other people please LIFT YOUR GAME so I’m as bad as I am? and, at the same time, not as bad as I am….
These are the conflicting deep thoughts I experience every day and no one understand them.
Again, please lift your game peoples.
My ego is so inflated by myself, it’s not like I’m Gandhi.
I’m actually going on a psychotic rant right now and half the things I say aren’t… what I really feel, or only a small part of me feels them.
But I like how the words sound.
My brother goes on rants like this so now I understand why, but he says pretty awful ridiculous things about people specifically, and directly towards me or my mother and he doesn’t relent.
At least I’m just bothering the people who… aren’t here.


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