what? but i’m not sure if i want to be like you

I got a text from my sibling, saying how proud she was of me and how wonderful my performance was, and she loves me, etc etc.
That’s great, really lovely.
Except for the part about ‘because thats the first time I’ve seen a bit of myself in you’.
I’m not your child, and is being like you the best I can be, the only way for someone to be proud of me?
I know she didn’t mean it like that, but our relationship is rough sometimes and we don’t always respect each other so it actually disgusted me a little.
Theres this implication that the rest of the time she’s not proud of me because she doesn’t like me, I’m not like her, and that I don’t want to be like her because I don’t feel that much pride or respect for her.
Maybe that last bit has a lot to do with age differences… It’s like I can’t be ‘proud’ of her because she’s older and therefore has some kind of ownership over me.
I’ve never wanted to be or liked being in her shadow, or being compared to her – although I am very defensive of her, I know her best qualities and how great they are.
I’m reading way to much into it, yeah, but this is just my IMMEDIATE thoughts, it took me like 2 minutes to type this.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: