I don’t know how to make positive connections

I can’t find a place in any community.
An online community would be convenient, for sure…
But it’s been a long time since I’ve made any positive connections on the internet.
I find it to be an overwhelmingly negative place.
I avoid interactions with other people, outside of liking my friends statuses.
I ‘liked’ a news website recently and had to unlike it because I hated 90% of their followers, reading their crap made me feel negative but I couldn’t… not.
And gee, the sheer amount of the negativity people put out there… how can they do it? doesn’t it make them feel awful?
I’m over this stuff, I’ve learnt. I know to control myself… as much as (although from what I’ve seen more than) the next person can.
I can’t find anyone to agree with or even understand, let alone like – from video games to anxiety/depression forums.
I’m reading this at the moment http://www.realsimple.com/work-life/technology/communication-etiquette/negativity-00100000073022/ which I’m finding interesting despite one really awful analogy (injoke: NO MOAR CARROTS 4EVER *cries*)
Okay, so… real life communities.
Well, I’m in one, I just struggle with it sometimes.
I go to the local drama groups workshops, and I’m in their musical productions.
I’ve been feeling really depressed again lately (although Spring looks like it’ll clear it up nicely) it’s been a gradual build up because of poor health… I had blocked ears for like 2 months, I felt disabled and I couldn’t audition for a leading role because of it.
Got my ears syringed by a nurse (y) which is rather unpleasant, like visiting the dentist or cleaning your belly button.
And now I’ve had a cold for two weeks, so I missed a workshop (plus the one before), a rehearsal, and A QUIZ NIGHT… but I hadn’t made any plans to go anyway because no one would go with me.
I’m feeling a bit of petty resentment that no one’s shown concern for me when I’ve not gone.
I feel abandoned.
I’m living with my Dad, my Mum is living with her boyfriend, my sister just doesn’t visit.
I have a great Dad, but he’s not my mother, I don’t feel comfortable talking to him or asking him for help, and he’s working like 10/5 (LOL)
Feeling a bit proud of myself just because I did all my laundry… haha.
That’s really an achievement for the last few months.
Which is a bit sad.
So many things I should do…

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